However, however.

Sometimes, you never know if one simple thing you’ve done with another person, could actually mean so much to the other party.

These actions, however simple, however spontaneous, however unknowing, could have changed someone’s life.

You, are important. No matter how shit you feel about yourself. You have made someone’s life better. Even if it’s just a little bit. 

Maybe that’s why I feel so much better about myself today. For the first time in awhile, I felt the motivation to want to keep living happily. Because you, my sweet sad little pea told me that I made you happy.

Such a simple sentence. All because I did something that I unconsciously wanted to do with you. Pulling you by the hand and entering a random classroom to chat with a stranger. 

“Let’s do it,” we giggle. We do. Thank you, darling. You made me really happy too. Sometimes, I feel nothing and feeling nothing makes me sad. I don’t know how it works. It’s feeling everything and nothing at once.

I don’t know how to make people happy. But because of the incident today, I realised something so important. That, I didn’t have to try to make people happy. What they say is true. “Just be yourself,”  they say. I didn’t believe them then. I believe them now.

When I am myself, I glow. I’m positive. I spread good vibes. I want to smile, I want to laugh, I want to grab people by their hands and shove both of us into a pit of adventure and good times. I don’t give a fuck what people think about me hehehehe xd

I want to make memories that make me laugh till my eyes water, memories in the heat where the weather swelters. I don’t want life to be boring. I want the people around me to have fun and laugh with me. I want people to be happy around me 🙂 

And if that’s the only thing I can bring to the world, well then I would gladly say that I have accomplished one of the greatest feats of my own life. To unconsciously make people happy, that’s what I want I think. 

It wasn’t through self-realisation that I found out that I make people happy. It was them admitting to me that I made them feel good. That I’m positive and I shine. I’m so in love and in love and in love that at the very least, I have the talent to make people happy. That they’re comfortable in my presence.

I NEVER WANT THEM TO STOP FEELING THAT. 

I am obsessed. Maybe tonight I won’t shut down what I feel inside. It feels so good to be happy again. Genuine happiness. I haven’t felt that in a long time. I’ve made so many people happy today. 

To live, to breathe, to feel. How invigorating. 

when it’s 2am, and I’m wondering how you’re feeling?

Maybe darling, I don’t give a fuck anymore 😀

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